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A man is talking to God…
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
“Honey, It’s just too hot to wear clothes today”, said Bill as he
stepped out of the shower
“Honey, what do you think the neighbors would say if I mowed the lawn like this_”
“Probably that I married you for money” she replied.
“Honey, what do you think the neighbors would say if I mowed the lawn like this_”
“Probably that I married you for money” she replied.
I'd like to meet the man who invented
sex and see what he's working on now (W.Allen)
A man is in the bed with his wife, who is
pregnant.
The woman says to him: ¨Honey, I have a craving, I want to eat snails¨.
So the man goes and buys them in a 24-hours-open shop.
When returning home, he
finds his friends in a bar, and he stays with them drinking for a long time.
Three hours later he arrives home drunk, and sees his that his wife is waiting angrily for him,
so he throws the snails to the floor and says:
¨Come on guys! You walk so slowly and my wife is
waiting!¨
Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were dozens of clocks on the wall. Each clock displayed a different time of day.
ReplyDeleteWhen she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, ''We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell a lie the hands move. The clock ticks off one second each time a lie is told.'' Special attention was given to two clocks. The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved, indicating that she never told a lie. The clock for Abraham Lincoln has only moved twice. He only told two lies in his life. Hillary asked ''Where is Bill's clock?''
St. Peter replied, ''Jesus has it in his office... he's using it as a ceiling fan.'''
Thanks for your contribution Cristina
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